To Beloved Brother in the Lord Brian and the Brethren who are in fellowship with you in the faith of Jesus Christ,
Much greetings to you all in the fellowship of His love.
Lydia and I are now married for the last 14 years blessed with 3 kids: Hilda 13,Steve 8 and Shadrack now 8months . It has been along journey of being together and the enemy of our lives would have seen as part ways in the second year of our marriage was not by the mercies of God.
Lydia had been working at a beans processing firm when i met her. She was very charming and loved Jesus always going out after job at the street alleys and in the open streets to preach armed only with her bible. She shouted herself as loud as she could calling people to turn to God by repentance of sins. News reached her father at her rural home that her daughter was going insane by what she was doing in her call to evangelism. He was an alcoholic and could not accept that which he heard. Lydia continued nonetheless and due to her steadfastness, father would take it easy when he saw salvation come into his own home. Lydia’s mother and sisters would accept Jesus.
A friend in the Lord had introduced me to Lydia and we became big friends, later started courting for about a year. I was a Baptist then and she attended the full gospel church. There was opposition in our days of courtship because the brethren of Lydia’s church despised the church i came from and they were advising her to leave me. Their defense was that the Baptist are a religious lot and never spiritual. We had started the engagements together in readiness for marriage and i had introduced her to my parents who were so happy for us. By the grace of God Lydia is the only girl i had met in my youth and courted. She had been praying all her life that she would love to be married by a Pastor. I was not a pastor then in the Baptist congregation but she saw by the prophetic knowledge that i would be one in the future. So God has secured her for me by His divine ways. The opposition of her side of church escalated when it became clear that i was not playing games with her and was ready for marriage.
There was a period of almost giving up on the idea of marriage when Lydia almost gave in to the pressures of the brothers at her church. She would not talk to me for almost a month and at this point we were at an advanced stage of planing things up. I was to send a delegation of few sisters from our church to try to talk to her to know what was wrong. It was the hardest time of my life then at that time. I felt rejected and cheated. I had turned 31 and my father was very sick to the point of death suffering chronic tuberculosis. We had lived near the biggest dumpsite of Nairobi for decades in a vast urban slum dwelling and where T.B is the major threat to the people due to the poisoned air. My father contacted it after my sister succumbed to it. At his ailing bed he was troubled too of me that i was supposed to marry at my age and so i was to do what i would to give him hope that something good was happening to me. This would give him hope for quick recovery because his heart would be at peace. So my brokenness of heart was that Lydia was buying in to deception when she would have been a great inspiration even to my dad’s recovery.. By the mercies of God and after much prayer, she passed the trial of her faith and cried for forgiveness. She was to let me know that some brothers were making advances at her and she was confused to know what to do. We were rejoined together and started again from where we left. By the time the wedding day was announced on the 6th December 2003, my father was up on his feet! To this day the Lord Has sustained him in His amazing love. He Loves Jesus Christ and has trained us in the ways of he Lord since childhood. The Lord is faithful!
We had a great wedding and the Lord was glorified for Lydia and I were pure in sexual matters as youth. I secured a casual job at a candy manufacturing factory after the wedding and was being given less than $2 a day. It was too hard for us financially more so when we got our first baby Hilda after 1 year. Lydia would not go for her job at the beans factory any more because of the baby. We had all the bills to pay for rent and for our upkeep and it was very hard for us. We accumulated much arreas in house rent and electricity was cut off from us so that we had no option but to move to a smaller house. My brother who follows me had some tangible income and would most times come to our rescue. Lydia was becoming inpatient with this life and there was too much strife growing between us. She would speak to me so rudely throwing heavy words and i would literally cry with much groaning of heart. There was a total communication breakdown and we literally started to hate each other. She said plainly to me that she regrated much having me and only cared for her daughter. She cursed and threatened to leave me. Hell had broken loose because some of my siblings saw that i was under siege whenever they would visit us. One of them had a near fight with her and there was clear hate. There was no love between us for months at this stage of great want. There was no intimacy but threats to depart from each other. We had tried to seek counsel to them that were our brides made and groom. The groom would go at my back after the counselling and seduce my wife for sex.. It was the hardest thing to believe would happen. She almost had fallen prey to the deception for it was said to her that this was an acceptable thing to do. The Lord hindered this to happen.
One day as i prepared for work at the candy factory, the usual outbursts of wrath started out of nothing. Lydia threatened to walk out of the marriage. I replied back very rudely and deeply annoyed with her and told her to do what she felt was good to do. I was fed up too and hated Lydia. I saw her as very disrespectful but never loved her any more. I cursed the brother who introduced her to me. I was tired with this marriage thing. I hated to come back home from work to see Lydia talk nicely with other people and not talking nicely to me. I loved our little daughter and i cried many times when i saw that she could tell that something was amiss with us two. So on the material day when we had the normal outbursts of wrath early morning, i came back from work and to my surprise, she had actually departed.
I was to stay alone and seperated from Lydia for 6 months. She had left a letter advising me to get myself another wife. She had carried with her all that she needed and i felt some relief at her departure. I hated her the more because of leaving. The devil introduced to me many advisers and free teachers. They were telling me to act as a true African man and get a wife for myself. My parents also fell prey to this idea. My spiritual life was cut off me and i felt myself a sinner again. I had developed passion for women and had great lust of the flesh. True to the desires of hell, the devil devised ways in which godly ladies would come to my house now to ‘help’ me do the house chores. I sinned against God of sins that i had never had before even as a youth because of lust. Matters became worse when accompanied by some elders, i tried to follow their counsel and pursue after Lydia to where she was at her rural mother’s home and on arrival, she told us off that she was not coming back. I developed a very hardened heart towards her. She would later come to the city and live with her sister. I never went to church all this while and acted as one of the world. Only by the grace of God was i protected from illicit sexual activity despite my lusts of the flesh. Only by grace did i start to receive Godly men to advice me on the truth.
Lydia started texting me by phone by the seventh month of our being seperated. She was calm and respectful and showed emotions of love again. She apologised many times but i could hear none of it. She would let little Hildah murmmer words over the phone so i may hear and this touched me. The Lord began to work on my restoration and i went back to the church. It is at this point that i felt the peace of God come back to me and the Lord told me to call my family back home forgive all and let go of the past. There would be new rules on her return i thought. She must start to know how to be polite to me, i told my self. I will begin being a tough man so she may fear me as many of the wrong advisers had advised me to do. So i planned to receive Lydia and the kid back home but we would firstly meet over dinner at some down town restaurant where we alone at some corner would iron out issues and i would give out some new terms of engagements henceforth. I had some little present to give too and deeply in me, i missed her but would try act very tough.
It was the happiest moments of our lives when we finally met at this re-union at the restaurant place and she cried much tears of remorse. I struggled to show my toughness but i was overwhelmed seeing Lydia and my lovely dear daughter crying at me and exclaiming “dady dady”. We had the best and sincere moment of our lives there and we laughed over some rules i had written down to read for her. Lydia had lost much weight as i was too. It had been tough for both of us and we had no option than to go for check up at the hospital for this was a wise thing to do. It would remove all doubts and bring back trust in us at least from the medical perspective. The Lord helped us in this trial of our faith on our marriage. We confessed our sins to each other and asked for forgiveness from God. Now that we have some maturity in the faith, we laugh at the wiles the devil had planned against
our being together.
We may have challenges now and many times we have them but God Has taught us since this trial how to see His hand in such so that He may be glorified. We have since learnt not to see the devil in the trial of our faith for this enemy of God can do nothing to the sons of God without being permitted to do that. In trials, we prove we are true sons of God by clinging to God for they are but for a moment. At the end of every trial of faith because of the word of God in us, God gives us reward here on earth while we wait for our greatest reward when the Lord comes for us majestically with a cloud with His Holy angels. The Lord continues to mature our faith in Him to embrace the testing of our faith. True sons of God, them that are called according to His purpose, must indeed be tried. The good news is that He knows them that are His. That they are able to endure the trials and remain victorious in the name of His Son Jesus Christ. We have come to God not because of what He Has given us or what we pray that He may give us but because He Has chosen us by Jesus Christ to be His sons. The devil does not know why we belong to Jesus and makes up reasons deceiving himself that we love Jesus because of some reason of taking some advantage from God. No one chosen of God can take advantage at the mercies of God. Whoever loves God out of a sincere heart, the Lord shall bless. He will not love God just because of material blessing.
Last year when we were remembering our 13th anniversary, Lydia was giving thanks to God and testifying to them that had come saying: “surely as the Lord Had planned since the beginning., I am married to a Pastor!”
The Lord is faithful and has made us to be humble stewards over His flock.
By God’s divine purpose He brought our beloved brother in the Lord Brian into our lives too that through the fellowship of love in the Spirit of Jesus Christ, the Lord may be glorified. I was seeking something on the net concerning the work of God some few years ago when i was directly led of the Spirit to read brother Brian’s testimony. I was really touched by what God can do to a man He Has already chosen to use.
In his testimony, brother Brian feels that he has been forgiven much and sees himself as one of the most worst sinners. He has been forgiven much, he loves and desires to love much. I love you Brian.
To God be the Praise and Honor Forevermore!